Saturday, April 21, 2012
Quotable Quotes: Too Much Info, The Asari Edition!
*Caution: ASARI-BRAND SPOILERS HERE!*
"ME" fans will remember meeting a certain Matriarch tending bar on Illium in the second game...it turns out she was watching Liara when she was hunting the Shadow Broker, and if you're careful enough, you'll run into her again behind the counter of the Presidium Commons' Apollo's Cafe in #3. And she's still watching Liara! Why? Her name is Aethyta, and she's Liara's long-lost 'dad'! The only surprise bigger than that is Liara knows her 'dad' is watching her! As Shepard, you can nudge her into talking to Aethyta for the first time...and Liara (and we) learn more than we thought we would! You'll catch them talking if you hover around enough... :)
Aethyta: "Come on, you can't blame the Matriarchs for keeping an eye on you."
Liara: "I am not my mother."
Aethyta: "You did threaten to flay someone alive with your mind."
Liara: "I had to make them take me seriously. I wasn't going to actually do it. And...you bugged my office on Illium."
Aethyta: "That'd be the logical conclusion, yeah."
Aethyta: "The Matriarchs aren't gonna do anything to you, especially in the middle of this damn war."
Liara: "My reports don't show much activity from the Asari military against the Reapers."
Aethyta: "Come on, you know how the Asari work. Infiltration and sabotage."
Liara: "But against Reaper forces, that's..."
Aethyta: "I know. About as useful as tits on a Hanar. Good thing we've got the Turians and the Krogan to do the heavy lifting. Our people just aren't built for the front ranks."
Aethyta: "So yeah, my dad was a Krogan."
Liara: "Yes, I'm aware of that."
Aethyta: "So that makes you a quarter Krogan."
Liara: "That's...not how it works!"
Aethyta: "I'm a thousand years old. I've had kids with Hanar. Don't tell me how Asari reproduction works."
Liara: "Wait...I have a half-sister who's part Hanar?"
Aethyta: "I thought that wasn't how it worked."
Aethyta: "All I'm saying is that if you feel the urge to head-butt something, it's genetic."
Liara: "I have never wanted to head-butt anything."
Aethyta: "Really? Not even a little bit? Come on."
Liara: "I do not head-butt people!"
Aethyta: "All right, fine, don't go all Blood Rage on me."
Liara: "Or what? You'll tell the other Matriarchs to order a hit?"
Aethyta: "Hey. That's not going to happen."
Aethyta: "Nezzy and I were together for more than a century."
Liara: "You loved her?"
Aethyta: "Course I loved her. She was so smart. Always thinking. Nice, too. Hell of a lot nicer than I am. And damn, that rack. I mean, even before she hit the Matriarch stage..."
Liara: "You don't need to tell me everything."
Aethyta: "Nezzy was the only one who ever listened to me when I said the Asari were stuck in the past. Only difference was, I wanted us to stand on our own. She wanted alliances with the other species."
Liara: "Is that why..."
Aethyta: "Why it ended? Nah. Well, maybe. I don't know. Mostly it ended because she wanted to solve things the smart way. I wanted to fight."
Liara: "Those aren't mutually exclusive."
Aethyta: "Yeah, I hear you've racked up quite a body count. But then, you are a quarter Krogan."
Liara: "Now you're doing it on purpose."
Aethyta: "It was pretty clear she was leaving. Can't be the wise counselor when you're married."
Liara: "Why not?"
Aethyta: "Sex appeal. Most species only pay attention if they want to have sex with you. So you have to be available, mysterious..."
Liara: "What? That's not true! Shepard listens to me!"
Aethyta: "And how many times have you thrown her on the bed and peeled her out of her uniform?"
Liara: "Do you have to make it sound so...tawdry?"
Aethyta: "If it's all civilized, you're not doing it right."
Aethyta: "I made her promise to let you go your own way, though. No matter what she wanted."
Aethyta: "I knew you'd be special, kid. Any daughter of hers. I told her, 'You're treating her like a baby bird, Nezzy, but she's gonna raise one hell of a storm with those little wings.'"
Liara: "Little Wing?"
Aethyta: "You okay?"
Liara: "Yes. Thanks."
Aethyta: "It's better to remember her like this than as whatever she turned into with that Saren bastard."
Liara: "It wasn't her fault. She was trying to stop Saren, guide him as a force of good. But she was Indoctrinated."
Aethyta: "Look, I've heard stories about the Reapers messing with your head..."
Liara: "They're more than stories. I've seen it. Every Cerberus solider is a Reaper slave. She fought it with every fiber of her being. She even broke free and helped Shepard on Noveria before she died. I was there. She said I'd made her proud."
Aethyta: "All this time, I'd blamed Nezzy for it. Thousand years old, and I still don't know crap. Thanks for telling me."
Aethyta: "Just take care of yourself out there, okay, kid?"
Liara: "I will...Dad."
Aethyta: "Hey, I've called a few friends. Commandos. Eclipse girls who owe me some favors. They're all yours. Just tell 'em where to go."
Liara: "You're giving me...Asari Commandos?"
Aethyta: "Well, you're too old for me to buy you a damn pony..."
Liara: "You're the best father a girl could ask for."