Friday, March 2, 2012

Quotable Quotes: Know Your Role!

Time again for Quotable Quotes, words of wisdom from your favorite "Mass Effect" characters! Some people (Human or otherwise) need a firm hand...

Shepard: "I'm done being patient! Give me the name, or I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a Krogan!"

Merc Recruiter: "Well, aren't you sweet? You're in the wrong place, honey. Stripper's quarters are that way."
Shepard: [Pulls out her pistol] "Show me yours, tough guy. I bet mine's bigger."

Udina: "Anderson prefers to let his fists do the talking."
Anderson: "Only with you, Ambassador. Only with you."

[Shepard and Thane see Kelham, who's shackled down in an interrogation room:]
Shepard: "My name's Shepard. I'm a Spectre."
Kelham: "Prove it."
[Shepard pulls out her gun and points it at his face...]
Shepard: "I don't have to prove anything. Spectres are above the law. We clear?"
Kelham: "Crystal."

[One of Aria's Batarian henchmen tries to get a genetic scan off Shepard, BUT...]
Shepard: "Try it, and you'll be scanning the inside of your colon."
Aria: "I'd almost pay to see that!"

Shepard: [To an Asari with an attitude] "Look, little girl. When you need a problem shot, ask a Turian. When you need a problem talked to death, ask an Asari. When you need a new problem, ask a Salarian. When you want a problem fixed, ask a Human."

Batarian Prisoner: [To Shepard] " have to help me. OHH!"
Zaeed: [Just kicked the poor idiot to shut him up] "No one said you could talk, jackass."

Shepard: [To Sovereign] "You're not even alive. Not really. You're just a machine. And machines can be broken!"

[Kolyat and Shepard are drawing down on each other. BUT...]
Shepard: "Sorry, Thane."
[BLAM! Kolyat gets shot in the shoulder and goes down!]
Kolyat: "GAGH! Oh, my gods -- !"
Shepard: "Never hold a gun on someone unless you're willing to make them feel pain like that."

Turian Councilor: "I believe you Humans have a saying: even a broken clock is right twice a day."
Shepard: "Here's another saying: go to Hell!"

Aria: "I'm the boss, CEO, queen if you're feeling dramatic. It doesn't matter. Omega has no titled ruler and only one rule. Don't f*ck with Aria."
Shepard: "I like it. Easy to remember."
Aria: "If you forget, someone will remind you."
Garka: "And then I toss your sorry ass out the nearest airlock."

Garrus: "You ever miss those talks we had on the elevators?"
Tali: "No."
Garrus: "Come on, remember how we'd all ask you about life on the flotilla? It was an opportunity to share!"
Tali: "This conversation is over."
Garrus: "Tell me again about your immune system!"
Tali: "I have a shotgun."
Garrus: "Maybe we'll talk later."

Shepard: "You put your own goals ahead of the mission. That's not the way this works."
Zaeed: "I survived this long watching my own back. No time to worry about anyone else."
[Shepard points her gun at Zaeed's face! She lets him look down the barrel for a beat...]
Shepard: "You're part of a team now, Zaeed..."
[...then turns the gun away from him. Fortunately for Zaeed!]
Shepard: "...and there's no way we can do this unless we're all working together."
Zaeed: "You -- ! You have a point."

[Shepard headbutts Uvenk to shut him up! WHUMP!]
Uvenk: " dare?"
Krogan Shaman: "Haw!-Haw!-Haw! I like this Human! She understands!"

Shepard: [To Jack] "I'm offering to be your friend. You don't want to be my enemy."
Garrus: "They have a way of dying."

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